She was walking behind him on the narrow trail, her bare feet making no sounds on the soft ground. The wood was quiet, as if it held its breath. And then, in one quick silent motion, she jumped at him, grabbed the hilt of his sword, tore it out of its sheath, and violently pushed him to the ground. He fell, lying with his face down, stunned, the breath knocked out of him by a tree root under his chest — he fought for air, he fought to prop himself up — and then, over his pain and his own ragged breaths, he heard sounds, strange wild noises, screams. When he finally managed to look around there were three bodies, armed, dead, lying next to him. She had killed them. For a moment, she was the only one who was standing — then, as he slowly got to his feet, she handed him back his sword, knelt down, closed her eyes, and bent her neck. The land destroyed, the ancient laws now ruled again, unchallengeable. Having assaulted her owner, she could not stay alive.“So, she’s kneeling, naked, arms. So he said, "I'll go first."His first question was, what is the capital of Alabama? The blonde reached in her purse, gave him $5. He said, "OK, it's your turn."She said, "What goes up the hill on three legs and down the hill on four?"He said, "Uh?" He got out his laptop. He Googled it. He did everything that he could, and he finally had to realize that he couldn't answer it. He gave her $500. She put it in her pocket.He said, "What's the answer?"She gave him $5.Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to.
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